Bitch don’t make me take my earrings off

These earrings by You gNeeK on Etsy solve the age-old problem of form vs. function. Have your cake, eat it too! Two birds, one stone! !!!

The store offers hundreds of delightfully geeky objects, such as a math clock I’m incredibly tempted to get for my boyfriend (PhD student in electrical engineering… ’nuff said) and lots of cool functional tools dressed up as aesthetically pleasing  jewelry.  I’m infinitely pleased by the spirit level necklace, but the violent pyro in me can’t keep her eyes off the infinitely cool dangerous toys, like the working folding knife earrings. Steampunk enthusiasts should forget their silly faux clockwork jewellery and turn to these instead. Nothing says gentlewoman-adventurer chic quite like working lighter earrings. Love them.

Tiny Folding Knife Earrings. $39.99

Vintage Gold Lighter Earrings. $49.99

Switchblade necklace. $34.99

A Glimpse of the Portrait of an Uncomfortable Gentleman Surrounded by Mysterious Things

Michael C. Hsiung‘s drawings have brought hilarity and intense joy into my life in the midst of a very stressful day. I love the style and vaguely macabre subject matter, but most of all, it is the deadpan weirdness of the titles that makes me happy. I want to visit this bizarro little world of his, where drunken mermen and unitaurs frolic, and be privy to the secret inner lives of all the waiters and chefs of the land. Very inspiring.

“A scene in which the street performer with six fingers may or may not need the passerbyer’s help to untangle himself.”

Despite having successfully purloined the penny-farthing from Mr. Starley, the armed brutes find themselves in a pickle.

On the Sobriety of Certain Mermen

Merman examining his friend’s injured tail

On the subject of teaching a child how to prepare an animal’s blood for a feast.

In a moment of folly, the waiter slips, but manages to point his toes.

Chef trying to break the neck of giant chicken for an expensive feast.

Unitaur checking the stability of horn after battle.

On the devotion between the clown man and the unknown boy.

Sailing along the turbulent sea, the Roman soldier believes he may or may not be going towards the battle.

Dollhouse tunic

Really love this tunic from Neneee’s Etsy shop. So playful! I could totally see myself wearing this, but I vaaaaaaaaguely suspect I would look absolutely ludicrous in it. Such a tragedy. Shall have to think of some other way of drawing inspiration from this look, something that doesn’t involve me looking like I’m  trying to look like a two-year old. Or maybe I’ll just rock a look like this, throw up some pigtails and just revel in making a laughing-stock of myself.

Or then again… nah. I’ll stick to random acts of public, shameless song and dance to cover that basis. I’m enough of a fool as it is.

BTW, oh three readers, posts this week are likely to be on the sporadic side. Crazy times at work. It’s a tough life, being a photocopy-wrangler.

Sucker for your love

Couldn’t resist posting this. When I was searching “taxidermy” for the post below, this beauty popped up among the real and fake mounted heads.

[OctopusMe]

My taste in things tends slightly towards the creepy and theatrical, though I try to tone it down for public consumption. This octopus ring is perfect for these purposes– just enough of bizarrity to be satisfactory, without quite blaring “Bwahahahaha I’m wearing dinner twined around my hand!”

Also, this pendant could easily be worn by Ursula the Sea Witch’s shy, retiring maiden aunt:

[Black Tourmaline Pendant]

Et, enfin, apologies for the title. I make no claims to being witty today.

Glove Map of London

Today is a busy day, so I’ll only have time for quick snippets. Anyway, I couldn’t resist sharing this glove map of London, made for the Great Exhibition in 1851. I discovered it on the website of the Field Museum. It’s a perfect, imaginative merger of two of my favourite areas– cartography and fashion.

[link]

I think the hand-drawn element of these is one of the best part, adding a touch of whimsy. I’ve seen other leather-goods with cartographic prints, but those all carried a taint of old lady about them, for whatever reason. These on the other hand seem fresh and innovative. This might have to be another DIY project for next winter.

Coveting

Something about this neckpiece really speaks to me…

[giia]

I’ve really been about elaborate accessories paired with super-minimalist clothing of late. Here, I love the form and texture, and the crazy intense shade of blue. It reminds me of a modern (less ludicrous) take on an Elizabethan ruff.

[link]

Elephants never forget.

Inspired by one of my favourite animals, I searched for “elephants” on Etsy. Here’s a smattering of cool finds from the pages and pages of results:

I’ve been lusting after this necklace from Untamed Menagerie for a while. I love most of the designs from that shop, but this necklace in particular has a touch of fantasy that delights me. Also, I love bows, I love new takes on pearls, and I love elephants. Might have to get it. I go back to look at it often enough.

This particular take on the mighty elephant, from Sarah Jane Studios, introduces another favourite element: the bunny. It’s a little sweeter and more childlike than I generally openly admit to being in to, but I have strongly considered purchasing these cards– for letters to the dearest friends only. Or perhaps to keep up on my wall at work and to look at when I want to see something utterly cute.

I might have to have a child just to have the excuse to put this growth chart up on my wall. Or snatch one, perhaps. (Child, not growth chart. It’d probably be a little more difficult to get my hands on the growth chart, as I don’t know where they’re made. The child I can obtain just by hanging out in Park Slope any day of the week.) Animals of Africa, en masse. Lovely. From Janey Mac.

Elephant bling! From PreciousCharm.

I find this pair absolutely adorable, and they soon just might find themselves winging their way into my collection of tchotckes. The simple lines give the figurines a surprising amount of personality, and the patterns on the paper are beautiful, and have just the perfect amount of ethnic feel. Plus I’m a sucker for anything that comes in pairs, with a big one and a little one. From Gypsy and Twink, one of my new favourite stores.

Small, cute, stylized, practical. I’ve been thinking about this little guy for a while. Too bad I have too many keys to be able to truly show off a keychain this great. From Leather Prince.

And finally, this elephant tile from Biat Work. It would make for a cool, unexpected addition to any grouping of paintings. A fine way to immortalise this glorious beast on your way.

There are, of course, many more offerings of the elephantine variety, but I am afraid I shall have to leave them for you to look for, dear reader.

Oh, but I can’t talk about elephants without a mention of my very favourite one, an old childhood friend:

Enchanted Forest

This bed from Attila Design truly enchants me.

It’s a little over-the-top for me to consider it for my own personal use (even if I happened to have a spare $10,000 to use to buy a new bed), but when the particular person who it is destined for finds it, it’ll be wonderful. I love the fairytale quality of it. I wonder what you dream of at night in a bed like this.

Holy Water

I tend to be a little squicked out by things that are “upcycled”. Firstly, the preciousness of the word brings on a Pavlovian response of murderous rage whenever I hear it. (Much like my irrational hatred of Audrey Tautou … I don’t react well to self-conscious whimsy.) Also, I am really lazy about things like that. My idea of good enviro habits is to reuse an old plastic water bottle until I get grossed out by it and then tossing it. Not ideal, not awful. I get a B in being green. Sigh. Additionally, I have an irrational fear of mold and bacteria (For illustration of said irrationality see: reference to stanky plastic bottle above. No fear there. Inexplicable.) A lifetime of summers in the tropics has taught me much about the horrors associated with decay. Not going to go into details, but… things can go bad really quickly. Understatement.

As a result, I’ve never been into the whole trend of upcycling glass bottles to use as water bottles. I’m clumsy. Carrying glass around could result in shards, and pain, and blood. Not exactly high on my list of priorities. Plus there’s the lurking fear of THE ROT.

Anyway, while poking around Etsy, I came across Strange and Violent Creations. In spite of myself, I found myself rather liking this bottle:

Might have to acquire it for my daily water intake. Except… it’s from an old kombucha bottle! Imaginary bacteria! Eek!